The Question
Have you ever been the hero only to become the villain?
Why it Matters
People may put us on a pedestal because of our position, power, and influence—or even because they are simply drawn to us. But the inflated image they hold early in the relationship may be shattered down the road when conditions change or things get rough. Because we’ve not lived up to the expectations of their hero, we may become their villain.
Practical Scenario
You created an opening for a junior person in the organization to step into a more expansive role. And at various points, you’ve been there to support them. So they view you as a protector and ally who will always be there. You are their hero and backstop, friend and supporter who can do no wrong. But these outsized expectations are impossible to meet long-term when you take positions that run counter to theirs and your responsibilities make it harder to be present. Now, they feel resentful and betrayed, even though you still admire them as much as you always did.
Savvy Tips
It’s hard to be a hero, though it may feel good at first. When someone makes you a hero, they blend projection with reality. And you must live into their unreal, impossible image. Disappointment is inevitable. Because their admiration was exaggerated, the sting of the eventual recalibration is, too. So the time to correct an imbalance is early. If you remind people of your humanity and limits, the relationship is more likely to sustain.