Subversive conversational habits may appear worth it in the moment. Airing grievances to a sympathetic third party feels cathartic or even justified. Asking a difficult question can trap someone into giving you the information you really want. Divesting yourself from a situation now can relieve you of responsibility if it goes wrong later.
These disruptive habits appear innocuous. Unimportant. Sometimes, they are even unconscious. But every occurrence is an entry to the story, each one slowly and subtly building a narrative. Even if an undermining comment never breaches the container of the conversation, it may stick with you, affecting how you see someone else and ultimately damaging the integrity of your relationship.
Questions
What conversational habit gets immediate results but can end up hurting you in the long run?
Think about a conversation that appeared to go well in the moment, but later resulted in detrimental unintended consequences. What went wrong?
What conversational habit have you observed in a teammate that creates a surprising positive effect?
(Part two of a five-part series)